Reclaiming your emotional space: Choosing presence over pressure

Sitting with emotions without losing yourself in them.

There’s a subtle but powerful shift that happens when we learn to sit with our emotions, instead of sitting in them.
It might sound like a small difference - but the experience couldn’t be more different.

When we sit in emotions
Most of us know this one well.
That moment when a feeling takes over, and suddenly:
* You’re no longer feeling anger - you are anger.
* A memory surfaces, and before you know it, you're in a spiral.
* Thoughts escalate, stories repeat louder and faster.
* Your breath shortens, your body tenses.
* Your nervous system kicks into survival mode.

This is what it means to sit in emotions - when the emotion is in the driver’s seat, and you’re the passenger in a car that feels out of control.
It’s not right or wrong.
It’s often a trauma response - a well-practised survival strategy.
But it doesn't have to be the only way.

The Practice of Sitting with emotions
Sitting with emotions looks and feels different.
* Emotions arise, but without the urgency to escape.
* You become the observer - not the emotion itself.
* You feel the wave of energy move through your body, trusting it will pass.
* You witness the emotion as a messenger, not a threat.

And that’s what emotions are: energy in motion.

When you allow space between the feeling and your identity, you create possibility.
You return to choice.
You feel the charge soften - not through reaction, but through presence.
It’s about feeling it in the body, without holding onto the story.

Resistance vs Spaciousness
What makes this hard? Resistance.
We don’t like what we feel, so we:
* Push it down
* Overthink it
* Attach old stories or past experiences to it
* Distract, scroll, overwork, control...

But resistance creates conflict.
An inner battle. Fuelling the stress response.
The moment we stop fighting the feeling, our nervous system begins to soften.
It starts to feel safe again.
We create space between the emotion and the reaction - and that space is where presence lives.

It’s about progress, not perfection
You’re not meant to get this right every time.
Especially if your body learnt that emotions were not safe to feel - or even express.

So we practice, gently.
* Noticing the emotion as it arrives
* Where it lives in the body
* How it shows up - tightness, heaviness, restriction, unease
* Observe if the mind rushes in to label or attach stories

You don't need to change or fix anything - just notice what you notice.
It’s not about sitting in overwhelming discomfort.

It’s about having an anchor:
Your breath.
Gently placing your hands on your body
Allowing tears if they arise.
Movement, if that feels supportive - rocking, stretching, journaling, walking.

It’s all allowed.
You get to choose.

The gift of sitting with instead of in
Over time, your body begins to trust and fee safe that emotions don’t need to be controlled. They simply want to be witnessed.
* You become more grounded.
* Your decisions become clearer.
* You’re no longer swept away—you ride the wave.
* You hold space for all of you.

Without judgment.
Without fear.

A note for the journey
If this feels hard, or even impossible, that’s ok.
You’re unlearning the habits of survival.
You’re building a more compassionate relationship with your inner world and in most cases your inner child.
It’s not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
Sitting with your emotions takes time - gently and slowly.
It is a beautiful gift you can give yourself: to meet every part of you with love.


I share reflections like this in my newsletter - soft reminders, seasonal offerings and inspiration to support your journey.
Sign up here - Stay connected, curious, and gently held in the unfolding.

Nicole Makhudu

Hello and Welcome

I'm Nicole Makhudu.

I am passionate about health, wellbeing and healing holistically.

On a journey to empower others to heal themselves.

https://www.luminousness.net
Previous
Previous

When life is challenging, return to the simple things

Next
Next

Beyond protection: What true safety feels like